literature

Metal Myths: Darkside of Metal

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Literature Text

Grunge:</u>
The Hair had been tamed and all was well. Thrash cults had emerged to praise the Metal Gods. All was good. But a new threat was just emerging. A new type of worship, Grunge, had begun. They came from a far off contry called Seattle. This new religion was spawned by metal and another religion known as Punk. At first it was not considered much of a threat, but things changed. The leading church of Grunge was the church of Nirvana. Nirvana was confronted by the newly tamed Hair, and Nirvana smote the Hair out of existence. This concerned the metal god. But what was more concerning was how quickly Grunge began to grow. Halford decided to take action. He secretly assembled his strongest men. Dee Snider, the god of wisdom and rebellion. Bruce Dickinson, heir to the throne of Ozzfest. The Big Four, the founders of Thrash. Many more soldiers were assembled to defeat this menace. But as they were about to attack, Nirvana's head priest took his own life. After the fall of the church of Nirvana, Grunge became peaceful d coincided with the metal society. All was well again.

Nu-Metal:</u>
After the taming of Grunge all was normal. Untill one of the Big Four made a fatal mistake. Anthrax went into the ancient grounds of the Rap religion. They befriended a priest of the religion. Doing this, opened new doors, that were meant to never be opened. Pretty soon, other bands began crossing into the realm of rap. Then came the day when a cult was formed. This cult was called Limp Bizkit. They merged the gap between metal and rap and created the unholy union which is Nu-Metal. This cult quickly grew into a new religion. At first this amused the metal gods, but the true worshipers of metal were not happy with this new blasphemous religion. But, sadly, there was nothing that could be done. Nu-Metal had arisen, but that was nothing compared to what would come next.

Emo:</u>
Forming from the old teachings of the Church of Nirvana, and the religion of punk, emo was formed. There were many cults that emerged but the most dangerous were Fallout Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, and Hawthorne Heights. These cults were hated by all metal orshipers, but all the nonbelievers flocked to this new religion and embraced it. The Metal gods, however, could do nothing to stop this without starting a full out war, which they were unfortunately out numbered. The emo scene just kept growing.

Metalcore:</u>
Emo was taking over the world and the metal gods could do nothing. Things looked grim, but they were about to get worse. Some priests from a far off religion known as hardcore punk emerged and discovered the tattered remains of Phillip Anselmo's teachings. They also discovered the cults of Thrash. From these teachings they formed a new religion. Metalcore was born. This religion was lead by the cults which started the religion. They were known as Nuclear Assault, Breakdown, and Biohazard. At firstthere was no threat at all, but then it happened. The cults began to twist and change, becoming influenced by the emo religion. The cults today are known as Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet for My Vallentine, and Trivium. But while nu-metal slowly dwindled, Metalcore only grew stronger. The world was in chaos, and there seemed to be nothing that could stop it. The world seemed to be doomed....
Ok, I feel like I kinda half to apologize to all my emo friends out there for this one. It was bound to happen. Please comment.
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thedynaguy's avatar
Is it bad that im just imagining Manowar killing thousands of emo teenagers?